DEAR ANN TAN,

ERASMUS GOT OUT OF THE CAGE THE OTHER DAY WHEN MOMMY AND I WERE NOT LOOKING AND HE EMAILED YOU. WE APOLOGIZE. HE STILL POTTIES IN THE SLEEPING BAG. PLUS HE DOES NOT USE PUNCHUATION. MOMMY REPLACED OUR SLEEPING BAG WITH A FERRET TUBE, AND MY BROTHERS POTTY IN THAT TOO. I ONLY POTTY IN THE FERRET PLAYHOUSE. MOMMY NEVER SAID I COULD NOT.

ANN TAN, DO YOU LIKE COFFEE? I HAVE COFFEE WITH MY MOMMY SOMETIMES IN THE MORNING. SHE LETS ME SIP IT FROM HER SHOULDER, IF IT IS COLD ENOUGH. SHE SAID THAT ONE DAY SHE WOULD BUY ME AN ICED MOCHA. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE COFFEE WITH YOU SOME TIME AND WE CAN DISCUSS POETRY. I LIKE THE ODES OF HORSE.

I LOVE YOU,

HORSE